


my dearest penelope

by armourdown



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, data scientist Percy, formal love letter, spicy Penelope, weatherby - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:08:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26313187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/armourdown/pseuds/armourdown
Summary: percy exchanges some letters with penelopeset during book 7 times
Relationships: Penelope Clearwater/Percy Weasley
Kudos: 3





	1. formally, yours

Hello Penelope,

I hope this owl post finds you well. I’m reaching out today because I find that regular communication strengthens romantic relations and wish to facilitate our mutual success.

To update you on what has been happening in my life:

I am starting to develop a real synergy with Mr. Bartemius Crouch! His calling me “Weatherby” has decreased by 2% since last I wrote (for data transparency purposes, I changed the criteria of my data analysis to include nonverbal gestures which may or may not affect the data; additionally, in the off chance you don’t recall, his previous usage of “Weatherby” was 100%). 

Further evidence of our synergy - Mr. Crouch has trusted me with responsibilities beyond my report on the standardizing cauldron thickness! I am working on a fascinating report regarding the viability of retiring owls and adopting this Muggle invention called “electronic mail”. I suspect my conclusions will find that men like my father are foolish to choose a Muggle invention over a pillar of our democratic Wizarding society. But alas, it is a significant report that I endeavor to complete without bias. 

Please inform me of any significant life updates you have. According to the data, I have thought of you an average of 6.9 times per day (the change from my last report is not statistically significant). My conclusion is that rate supports the maintenance of my affection towards you without interfering with my work to a noticeable degree.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.

Cordially,

Percival Weasley (he/him)  
Personal Assistant to the Head of Magical Law Enforcement  
Former Head Boy at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry 

P.S. If you would send along personal visual documentation, that would be of great personal assistance and satisfaction.


	2. sorry to see this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Percy replies to Penelope's response

Hey,

Sorry to see this. We have spent years having similar, respectful conversations/debate, and ending things on a positive note. What changed? Now, you take umbridge at me glossing past the current goings-on in the Ministry and send me a hysterical letter about my values. No the Ministry is not infiltrated with Death Eaters. I work at the Ministry and I’m not a Death Eater!

I’m bound to say something in the future that causes a similar reaction. Since hurting someone’s feelings is never my goal, I suppose we have reached the end.

I appreciate the opportunity to have been in your life, and wish you the absolute best!

Always,

Percival Weasley (he/him)  
Personal Assistant to the Head of Magical Law Enforcement  
Former Head Boy at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry 

P.S. A picture of your middle finger was not what I was looking for...


End file.
